


Encounter -

by Maoran



Category: Monbebe, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Interracial Relationship, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-11-01 10:43:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20813822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maoran/pseuds/Maoran
Summary: Hello it's Maorane it's my very first fanfic and english is not my first language but i hope you will like it---------------------------





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello it's Maorane it's my very first fanfic and english is not my first language but i hope you will like it

Gasped..this is the only thing I managed to do when i saw his face.

-December 5th 2018-

"_**Everyone thank you for coming. As you all know the world tour will officially start soon and we will work with a new PR team that will assist us during our different interviews and broadcasts overseas.**_" Said the middle aged man..The room was filled with almost 20 people.

It wasn't my first meeting, but somehow, doing it in a different country was stressful. I couldn't control my legs neither my heart beats. When your team manager signaled us to enter the room, I took a deep breathe and stood from my seat, shook my head and followed my team mates inside. The company's PR Team manager kept doing his speech when my teammates and I stood being him, trying to not faint under the stress. My mind literally went blank and all i could hear was a very distant voice until claps bring me back to earth. The meeting was over and everyone was bowing to each others, telling us to do a good job for this tour. It was my turn to greet the team i was about to work with for the following months.

" _**Nice to meet you..My name is Andrea.**__** I look forward to working with you**_"...

-January 26th 2019-

"_**Long time no see buddy..Your idol life has took you away from us**_ " said one of his friend. It's true that with the tour preparation, and mixtape Changkyun was really busy and he was about to leave the country for few months so his closest friends decided to have a small party for his birthday

" _**Here they are..what took you so long ?** _" Wooki, the red handed guy said with a goofy smile while everyone turned to see the two new faces who entered the room.  
"_**Sorry babe, we went to buy some stuff..oh hi Changkyun..how have you been ?**_" Said Minah, putting the bottles of alcohol on the table. Changkyun just smiled, eyes glued on the other girl.  
"_**Oh right..It's my friend Andrea...Andrea Changkyun, Changkyun ...okayy time to party people**_"

I don't believe in accidents. There are only encounters in history. There are no accidents. - Pablo Picasso


	2. The meeting

  
So this is what it feels to meet your "employer" in the most unnexpecting place ? To be honest, when Minah told me about the little party that her boyfriend was organizing I didn't think much about it. I was in town for two months already and except my teammates i didn't get to meet that many people. Being new in town, I had to adjust myself to my new environement, my new neighborhood and more than that my new type of accommodation. I always live alone so having three roommates was also a new experience for me. Fortunately Minah was there to help me.

"**_Andrea i'm happy to finally meet you. Minah mentioned about you a lot and i was curious to see who was that famous friend_**" Wooki said, handed me a can of beer.  
"**_Nice to meet you too...I wonder what kind of weird stories she said about me_**" i replied, laughing.

The mood was good.I greeted everyone, had small talks with almost all of them and even ended up by dancing with Minah. But after 5 cans of beer and a heavy dance session, the need of fresh air made me head to the balcony. I just sat on the chair, checking my phone before hearing a cough on my right. No need to mention that i literally jumped and almost drop my phone, having a laugh for only reaction.  
"**_Sorry i didn't mean to scare you_**" the brown haired guy said coming out from his dark spot to sit next to me.  
"**_I didn't know you were there...well i didn't expect to see you here Mister the rapper_**". Once again the only reaction i got from him was his laugh.

And this is how the party ended, with me chatting with Changkyun on the balcony.


	3. Learning

It's been three months since I met Changkyun at that party and surprisingly, we started to text each other a lot. At first it was simply to greet each others and then it went to him sharing his playlists, me sharing stupids videos. From time to time we got to meet at Wooki's place for video games or movie nights. Getting to know each others a bit more. But once in starship office for meetings it was another story. Having all those eyes on me, I decided to stay professional and act like I didn't know Changkyun. That internship was too really important for me to ruin everything.

"**_I can't wait to go to London..there is so many things I need to see_**" I said, scrolling on my phone.  
"**_Yeah. It's really nice there..but don't forget why you go there_**" Changkyun joked back. After taking over Wooki's apartment our gatherings started to hold place at Changkyun's studio. Since he was always busy, it was easier for me to meet him there to drop him food or run away from my roommates. Most of the time it was quiet moments with him working on his music and me on the couch working on my class assignments. But I didn't mind that silence, it was somehow pleasant, enjoying the calm before the non stop schedule coming soon.

~~~~~~~  
\- **April 14th**-

I was torn between laughing and screaming. Seeing Changkyun on stage really hits differently. He was really far from the quiet sassy emo boy I use to hang out with. He was still sassy but really confident, fierce, seductive. His stage presence let me speechless. I found myself being ever more excited to go on tour and be part on this journey.

~~~~~~


	4. Reunion

-**July 7th 2019**-

It's been already 3 months since Changkyun went on tour. Our daily chatting went into 3 texts a week and to be honest I started to miss him.  
During the flight to London I was really anxious. Meeting him after such a long time but having to keep it professionnel and keep my distance sound harder than I thought, especially now that I will be with them everyday until their last stop in LA.

_7:00 pm :Did you land already ?_  
_7:15pm :Looks like you didn't_  
_8:00 pm : Once you're at the hotel call me okay _

10pm...I couldn't help but smile when i saw his messages. Our flight got delayed and i finally landed 3 hours later. Once at the hotel I was happy to see that I had my own room. Even thought it was a small one but I was happy to finally have my own place. Don't get me wrong, I love my teammates but shraring house wasn't really something for me. I'm more like the lonely type, enjoying to be in my little world, living at my pace.

After a really needed shower, i finally called Changkyun, letting him know that I was finally at the hotel and not even 10min later I heard some knocks on the door. I didn't waste time to open the door to let him enter before someone notice him

"**_You scared me..I thought something happened to you_**" That tight hug really made me feel like home after being separated for so long.  
"**_The flight got delayed..there was so many kids crying. I almost lost it_**"  
That laugh, the thing I missed the most during those 3 months. It feels like it was only yesterday that we went apart but something feels different now.

And this is how our reunion ended. With a movie night like we used to do.


	5. Questions

-**July 25th 2019**-

This tour was really the more exciting yet tiring ever. Not like I'm doing much, but checking all the interviews contents, contact the radio, TV channels, briefings with the members and the team. I was busy but I was happy. I got to meet a lot of people. Hanging out with the staff after some show to have a drink or go to club. Being boring was something out of my vocabulary these days. But sadly, more I got to socialized with my coworker, less I have time to spend with Changkyun. I was sad about it but it's not like i could act like a brat, complaining about it, not when I have that opportunity to do this work.

During those US stops I got to get close with one of the security guy. He decided to be our guide touring this part of the tour and took us out almost every nights. Today wasn't different. After the Houston concert i was talking with him, laughing at his silly jokes. Suddenly the security guy bend and started to whispering something to my hear, making me laugh before he winking at me with a smirk. At the same moment I heard someone clearing his throat. It was Changkyun, and his usual smile wasn't there, remplaced by a cold expression.

"**_I was looking for you.._**" I could sense a bit of annoyance in his voice. I was about to answer when the security guy spoke before me.  
"**_I'm sorry Sir..We can go now...Andrea I'll call you later for our dinner_**"  
I just nod at him, still looking at Changkyun who clearly looks pissed off. What happens to him ?

-**July 31st 2019**-

Since that day in the corridor, I feel like Changkyun was avoiding me. He didn't answer my text until late with only shorts replies. Everytime i was trying to talk to him when he was alone, asking him if he was okay, if I did something wrong, he was simply brushing it away saying that he was tired. But him being stubborn wouldn't stop me to get my answer because I'm stubborn just as much as him.

It was 10pm when I handed to his room with my ipad and some files, ready to use work to get him to let me in and have him to talk to me. After 20min of talking about their upcoming apparence at GMA, I was about to leave the room but finally took my courage in both hands and turned to look at him, still seating on the couch

  
" **_Kyun ? What's wrong ?"_**  
**_"What do you mean ?"_**  
**_"Are you serious Kyun ? Why are you acting like a stubborn kid ? If you're mad at me just say it_**"

I wanted to stay calm but my temper took over me luckily I managed to keep my voice down. But seeing him just seating there, saying nothing didn't help me to calm down. I just sighed and shook my head, ready to leave but my foot stopped their actions when i finally heard his voice.

  
"**_Yes I mad..What did you expect ? That i would smile and laugh looking at you flirting with that dude ? Do you have any idea of what i feel right now ? _**"

  
Everything went too fast. In one blink of eyes Changkyun was standing in front of me, cupping my face with his two hands, his face was so close to mine.  
"**_You're driving me crazy Andrea._**"

  
That first contact, those lips on mine. Is this really happening ?


	6. Dangerous game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning : smut

Numb..this is the state my body was into right now. Brain frozed, body numb.  
"_**Andrea ?**_" His voice took me out of my trance and brought me back to earth. This shouldn't happen. I did my best to prevent this to happen but looks like desire and feelings were stronger than wills. This time it was my turn to remain quiet, before i shook my head, taking a step back.  
"_**This**__**shouldn't**__**happen**__**Changkyun**__**. **__**It's**__**forbidden**__**and**__**you**__**know**__**it**_" I finally managed to came back to my sense.

"**_Tell me _****_you_****_don't_****_feel_****_the_****_same_****_and_****_ I will stop_**" Changkyun got closer to me "_**Tell me **__**you**__**don't**__**feel**__**anything**__**when**__** I do **__**this**_" His lips went on mine again before sliding to my neck. I would be lying if I say that I never been attracted to him, but I made it clear to myself that he was out of my league and that I should just remain friend with him. And now here he is, teasing me like that.

No matter how hard I tried to hold back, my body betrayed me and a moan left my mouth and I could feel him smirk against my neck while his hands went on my waist, under my shirt, fingers exploring my skin.  
Even in moment like that his sassy attitude never leave him and i swear that i would slap him so hard if my body wasn't like jelly right now.  
"_**I **__**hate**__**you**_" I sorted out before cupping his face and crashing my lips against his. There was nothing soft now, i couldn't keep my hormons quiet any longer. Deep inside I wanted it, I wanted to feel needed and wanted by him. I was so engrossed to that kiss that I didn't even realized that I had my back against the door until I heard the click of the door being locked.   
My brain had just turn dow, letting my body and me desire take the control.

What started as an ego game turned into something more gentle. The hungry kiss turned into passionnate ones. I was surprised by the way the mood changed but once again I decided to let my emotion take the control.  
His eyes never let mine when he laid me on the bed and he started to undress me slowly and it felt like an eternity.  
"_**You**__** have **__**no**__** idea **__**how**__**my**__**many**__** time I **__**wanted**__**to**__** have **__**you**__**under**__** me **__**like**__**that**_"  
For some reasons, his voice sounded even deeper that usual. Everything was going so fast yet so slow since he was taking all his time to undress me, leaving kiss all over my body until he reaches my thighs. I could feel my body burning under his kiss coming so close but yet so far from where i needed him the most. He was playing with me and I never felt so vulnerable in my entire life.

"_**Kyun**__**..**__**don't**__**tease**__** me**_"

He smirks against my thigh before giving attention to my lower part after such a long time and I almost regret asking for it. My body literally jolt and I tried my best to not moan, bitting on my bottom lip. Changkyun worked on my womanhood like his whole life was on stake,devouring me again and again. I couldn't hold longer and let my moans go out. Big mistake because Changkyun mischevious tongue and fingers went even deeper, making of me a whole mess on the bed  
"_**Kyun**__**..oh **__**my**__**god**__**..i **__**can't**__**..I...**_" I couldn't even finish my sentence that i came undone, my body shaking over the pleasure.

Changkyun went back on me, kissing me softly on my forehead, then my nose, before going on my lips while his hand caress my cheek. That mood switch once again surprised me .

But now it was my turn to play. I pushed him so his back was on the mattress, and sat on his lap. Once again his eyes were on me and i started to move my hips slowly while sliding my hands under his shirt. I took the hem of the fabric and remove it off of him. I started to draw every features of his face and body with my fingertip still going painfully slow with my hips. He said that i was making him crazy, i'll make sure to fulfill his expectations. I bend over him and started to kiss him, going to his neck and trailing down slowly until I reach his sweatpants. I pull it down with his underwear, setting free his length. And then again draw his lower part with my finger.

"_**You're such a tease**_" He managed to say, trying to stay composed even thought he was dying inside. When I took him in my mouth i heard the most sexiest sound ever that could have make me come right away. But i can't let his grunts disturbe me, I have to keep control on him. I started to bop my head slowly, keeping my eyes on his face. His eyes were shut and I swear that i had never seen a beautiful man like that. I felt so proud being the one who make him like that. Decided to stop teasing him, i started to move faster on his length and his eyes shut open, his hand going on my hair.  
" _**Oh babe yes..keep going.. it feel so good**_" after few minutes I removed him from my mouth. Changkyun was about to complain but choked on his words when i sat back on him, sliding on his length. His hands went on my waist and we both start moving. The feeling was so good and had me so weak that i had to hold on his thighs, arching my back, head back, praying all the saints to not make my heart explose.

We were both sweating, moaning, close to our climax. Changkyun suddenly sat and hold me tight to him, burying his face in neck, panting heavily. After few more thrusts i finally came and Changkyun followed no longer after. We both collapsed on the bed, my head resting on his chest,which keep moving aggresively, searching for air.  
The room became quiet, only our heavy breath could be heard and yet my mind was loud, loud with so many questions.


	7. Hesitation

I opened my eyes, looking around me to grab my phone. It was 3am and Changkyun was still sleeping. I sat on the bed and looked at him. What happened few hours ago looks like a mirage. I shook my head and went out of the bed slowly to not wake him up, put my clothes on and left the room. There was still 2 weeks left for that tour and I just put myself in the most uncomfortable situation.

-**Few hours later**-

It was early in the morning when we all arrive at ABC studio for Good morning america. Today was really a busy day and for once I was happy about it, because i didn't have time to think much about last night and ever better, I had less time to spend with Changkyun. We were in the same building, same room, but there was way too much people and things to do. After the show, everyone got permission to take some time off since the next concert wasn't before 2 days. My teammates decided to go on a road trip and visit the city and for the first time i didn't think twice before accepting their offer. I needed to stay busy to not think about him. Was I trying to avoid him ? Yes..Was I proud of it ? No

1:15pm :" hey..where are you ?"  
1:20pm : " Can we meet ? I need to talk to you"  
2:10pm : " Sorry I'm out with my teammates...talk to you later 'kay ?"  
2:12pm : What's wrong ?  
\- no answer-

I was feeling bad, I didn't want to act like that toward him but i didn't know what to do. During the rest of the day, i tried to enjoy my time with my friends, did some shopping , and food tour. Until one of the girl show the pics that the members took under big screen, exclaiming how we barely meet then since we also went there. But i couldn't really focus on the conversation, too busy to look at his face on those pictures. They all had neutral expressions but somehow his looks darker, sadder. I was probably overthinking but my guilt feelings came back at me.

It was finally 11pm when i went back to my hotel room. I was exhausted after that long day of walking and all i wanted to do was to take a long shower and go straight to bed for the rest of my life. But my plan got avorted when I heard knocks on the door.  
"_**A minute please**_ " I removed my bathrobe and put my short and t-shirt on and went to open the door, my hair still wet from the shower. I wasn't surprise to see Changkyun standing in front of me. It's not like i could avoid him for the rest of my life. I moved on the side and let him enter, before going back to tidy my room a bit since all my new items i bought were all over the place. After a long silence I was about to ask him if he wanted a drink but his voice was the first one to comes out  
"_**Are you trying to avoid ?**_" I remained silent, not sure that the answer i would give him was the best idea. Changkyun came next to me and made me turn so i could face him.

"_**Andrea ? What's wrong ? Do you regret what happened last night ?**_" I shook my head trying to avoid his eyes, no matter the fact that i was older than him, i felt myself so small, so vulnerable having to face the truth. I closed my eyes and he cupped my face and put his forehead against mine, i could feel his hot breath on my lips and it didn't help me at all.  
"_**So why ? Why did you just leave like that ? Why did you ignored my texts ?**_"  
"_**I...I told you...This shouldn't happen..We can't happen Changkyun..not like that**_" those words were harder for me to say that for him to hear but he didn't let go on me, instead his lips went on mine.

" _**But i love what we have right now. Even if it's for a short time, let me have this, let me have you.**_" Again, his lips went on my neck and the spell started to work. Reason and logic left the room letting desire and passion take control. It was bad, but it felt so good.


	8. Trapped

That game i decided to play was a dangerous one, sneaking in each other room, letting our bodies come in contact with each others became a habit. A dangerous habit but also so sweet. The fear to get caught made our meetings even more thrilling. Each intercourse were more intense than the previous one, like Changkyun knew my body for so long and knew exactly which buttons to press to send me to heaven or to hell,because everytime i felt like dying from pleasure. My body, my mind, my soul were at his mercy.

But this had to come to an end. LA stop was really amazing, that time i wasn't on backstage but in the audience, looking at the man i grew feelings for yet I couldn't really enjoy the show because I knew that after this, I would have to say goodbye to him. It's not like I didn't know it but after all of this it became harder for me to talk to him about it,not wanting to ruin our moment. I know it was wrong of me to not let him know sooner but I was too afraid to cry and say things that I would regret later.

After the show, all the staff went to eat. The mood was really good, everyone was happy, drank, laugh and I couldn't help but smile seeing Changkyun a little bit tipsy, all happy with Jooheon. I tried to enjoy the night by drinking too but instead of keeping company to joy, alcohol went to comfort my sadness. And once again i couldn't bring myself to talk to him since there was still one schedule left.

The next day it was Teen Choice awards and it was a big event for them. I waited until everything was done before texting him,asking if we could meet at night.I tried to sound as normal as usual but seems like he knew me too well because as soon as he entered my room he tried to scan me. I laughed at his cute attitude and sat next to him and turned on the TV and played that netflix show that he started to watch. He didn't say or asked for anything even thought I knew he sensed that something was wrong. We stayed like that for a long moment, me in his arms, him playing with my curls. I finally decided to break the awkward tension and looked at him, caressing his cheek softly. We never really put a label on our relationship and I guess I was the fool one who broke the rules by growing up feelings even thought I knew it would end. I knew it but I couldn't stop my heart to beat for him.

" **_I have to go back home_**" I said with a tiny smile.   
He didn't say anything but instead locked his lips with mine. That kiss was far from all those we had before. It was slow, full of sadness. My back gently met the mattress ,his lips never left mine during the process and I felt my heart breaking into thousand of pieces. After removing my clothes, his fingers and lips went to explore my body and I couldn't help but let a tear roll on my cheek...gosh I like this man. That silence I usually enjoy became so painful and I had to fight against myself to not break down in tears in front of him.

For the last time, our bodies met in the most miserable way. I will miss you, please don't forget me or maybe do it because I won't bear to know that you are sad because of me. So many words that couldn't leave my mouth but that i managed to express with my body. More than having sex, this moment turned into a deep conversation, expressing our feelings for each other. I liked him, he liked me, we never put actual words on it but our bodies spoke for ourselves.

The next day was one the worst one i ever had. After packing my stuffs we all handed to the airport. I wanted to run in his arms and kiss him one last time but I just smiled and nodded at him before taking the opposite side of him. Once in the plane, i finally break down and cried.


	9. Thoughts

The days following our farewell were hard to live. I was the one asking him to forget me but I couldn't bring myself to stop thinking about him. I found myself checking on his schedule, watching their fancams, surprising myself smiling when he was doing silly stuffs. I miss him but I was happy to see that he was doing fine. And just for that I decided that should get well...I should do well and put myself together.

I was working on my final project when i received a video from an unknown number.  
" _**Happy birthday Andrea..I hope you're doing well..I wish you all the best, to be happy..and...I...I miss you**_"

All that time I tried to keep busy, doing countless of job, activities, exhausting myself so i wouldn't think about him,even skipping his songs when they were popping on my playlist. I even tried to forget him with a guy that i met on tinder but no one was good looking like him, no one was fascinated like him, no one look at me like him...no one was him. I had to accept the fact that I was addicted to him. So many time I wanted to take my phone and call him, saying how much I miss him but I know I couldn't, that I shouldn't do that to him. And Here he was, sending me a message out of nowhere. I wanted to scream, to cry, but i remained on my chair, fixing my phone, looking at his face. He was in his studio, with that grey hoodie that I love so much and his glasses, trying his best to smile and not look sad or whatever. I wanted to call him but stopped my action when I received a text.

\- _9:43pm: I'm doing fine_.

Even from far, even without being in contact he knew what I was thinking about. He knew that I was curious to know if he was okay but couldn't bring myself to call him because it would have been painful for both of us.

I missed him, I missed him like crazy.

The following days were like I expected them to be. Even thought I tried my best to not go back to my depressing mood, I was still having a hard time to be my usual self and my entourage started to notice that something was wrong.  
I ended up going to my mom and confessed that I fell in love with someone and that i was missing him like crazy. I didn't give much details about Changkyun identity, just saying that he was one of my teammates. My mom was like my closest friend and the one i could talk about everything without being ashamed. She remained quiet a moment before holding one of my hand.

_**"Well..you know. Your internship and classes are ending soon, so why don't you take that sabbatical year who wanted and go back to Korea ? You should go and talk to that boy. Holding back their feelings is not something good**_"

She was right. I always had struggle to speak up my emotions, prefering to avoid any confrontation. I always run away from love, not really believing in it as I grew up watching my parents marriage turning out into the biggest battlefield ever. I always convinced myself that I was okay being single, that I didn't need love, being the independante woman that I am was enough. Who need love anyway ? If it's to end uo by being hurt ? But now here I was.E

Even thought it may not turn out into anything Changkyun and I needed to talk.


	10. Crazy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (PS: It’s a bit short since it’s a transition sorry...the next one will be better)

Graduation was around the corner but all I could think about was my trip to Korea, getting all the paper ready, renting a place to live. I was excited but somehow scared. What if i was wrong ? What if all we shared during that time was just a little fun he needed.

" _**What am I doing ?**_"

I sat on my bed, staring at my suitcase. Did I really forget who he was ?  
"_**For god sake Andrea he is an idol, did he even told you that he wanted something serious ? You where the first one to tell him that nothing should happen and now look at you, acting like a teenager.... Gosh I'm so stupid.**_"

I kept overthinking all day long, asking myself if it was a good idea to go back there. I missed living there and meeting my friends but let's be honest who tell me that Changkyun would like to see me. Even thought I made him understand to forget me, he didn't contact me except for my birthday and I didn't contact him either because I didn't want to pressure him and act like a clingy desperated girl. Everything was even more confuse than before. But anyway i couldn't go back, my flight was already booked and I couldn't keep acting like a little girl. I was ready to forget about him and move on but that video for my birthday changed everything and now, no matter his answer I need to face him and see exactly what we are.

The D-day actually came faster than I thought and here I was at the airport, saying goodbye to my mom. I kept wondering what she was actually thinking of me, going to the other side of the world for a man. Sound stupid right ? But i was trying to convince myself that that trip would bring me good too after all those years studying. And that I could still come back home at anytime..Yes Andrea let's do that..It's just a normal trip, you'll meet him too and that's all...no pressure, no stress, you'll be fine...i'll be fine.


	11. Are we ?

**Warning** ** : suggestive**

After a long long flight i was finally in Seoul..i left that place only 5 months ago but i feel like it was an eternity. I was happy to be back, that city was really my favorite one. Being around until late, having so many convenient stuff around, i was really deprived when i was back home because I had none of these. As soon as i got my luggage i rushed to the place i rent and took a long shower and have a well deserved night of sleep in an actual bed and not an uncomfortable plane seat.

The next day was kind of busy. I had to do grocery, some shopping and get some furniture . It was around 7pm when Minah arrived at my place, being more excited than ever. We ordered some food and spent almost 5 hours chatting about everything...everything except my little adventure with Changkyun. No matter how close we are, I simply can't talk about what happened, this is why i just laughed and smiled when she kept telling me that she will introduce me to some "nice" guys, open minded.. But I know those kind of guys...most of them just enjoy riding the black horse and brag about it to their friends and I'm really not into that kind of fun...Not when my mind is somewhere else.

It was around midnight when Minah left, saying she had work the next day and that I needed to sleep, but I had other plan in mind. Not long after Minah left, i went to take a shower and put a simple black short and a white shirt and left my place to get a taxi. It took me around 15min to arrived in front of the studio, during that short ride i felt like i could breathe, like i should probably just go back, but it was too late, i was there. How should i act toward me was the other big question of the night. Should i ring ? should i just enter since i knew the code ? Should I just act like normally like I used to do ? Too many questions and before I realized it has been already 5min since i was in front of the door. Good for me no one was there otherwise they would have think that i was some crazy fan. After debating, i just decided to tape the code and enter the studio, i could hear the music inside of the other room and my hard suddenly started to beat faster. I slowly opened the door and entered the room, he was siting on his chair, concentrated on his computer and obviously he didn't hear me. I smiled before working slowly toward him and covered his eyes with my hands. He immediatly jumped and turned, his reaction was so funny that i couldn't help but laugh. During that little time, all questions where gone, i was just happy to meet my friend and that was enough.

"**_What the hell ? Andrea..don't ever do that again_**"

I couldn't stop laughing and went to sat on the couch following by him. I missed that, I missed him.

"**_When did you arrived ?_**" Changkyun asked, looking at me like if I was some alien or something  
"**_Yesterday..it was a really long long trip almost three flights..I got graduated and i wanted to take a break and have some fun and I missed korea so i came back_**" i said resting my head on the back of the couch, facing the ceiling

Only the music could be hear during during one minute before his own voice came out. " **_Did you miss me ?_**". I closed my eyes, still not moving from my actual position. I knew the serious talk would eventually come but i was still not prepared for it.  
"**_Yes i did..I know i was wrong for not contacting you but I needed to think a bit_**" i finally sat back properly and looked at him " **_I'm sorry and thank you for the birthday video_**". His eyes were still fixed on mine and i feel like i could melt under his gaze. I didn't know what to do, what was appropriate or not but what i know for sure is that i wanted to kiss him, to feel him. Fuck was the last thing i remember saying before capturing his lips with mine. His hand went on my waist and the kiss got deeper, angrier, messier. We somehow ended up breaking it, both looking for air, forehead against forehead. In a sudden movement Changkyun grabbed me by the waist and made me sat on his lap, one of his hand caressing my cheek and once again all the rush from earlier turned into a sweet and delicate moment. His gaze was so soft that i ended up by following the mood and play with the hair that was falling on his eyes.   
"**_You look so beautiful_**" more than an actual confession it was like a whisper and I swear that i could feel it through my spine. I slowly bend and kiss him, before sliding to his chin, then his neck. His neck was always my favorite spot. Changkyun being sensitive from the ears, when i was in playful mood i would just go and kiss him there, getting the best reaction from him. Tonight was one of those night where i decided to tease him and immediatly his arms trapped me against him chest while his mouth released the most erotic sound ever. After playing with both his ear and neck, i decided to part away from him so i could start removing his shirt, letting my fingerprints run on his chest  
"**_I didn't came for that_**"  
"**_I know_**" he kissed me before removing my shirt while i was trying to hide my smile waiting for his upcoming reaction. His eyes opened wide when he saw my large tattoo under my boobs.  
"**_Do you like it ?...I did it for my birthday_**" . He didn't reply, too focused on it, i couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. But I stopped when i felt his lips on my tattoo.   
" **_I hope you have no plans for tomorrow because you won't be able to walk after that_**". If i wasn't turn on enough, that threat just put my lust in the highest level.

Clothes were on the floor, bodies were against each other. I would lie if I say that I didn't miss this body, because i did, i was addicted to him. When i came here I lowkey expected to reconciliate with him and him being happy to see me,but what i didn't except was how playful our reunion would be..Dirty talk were replaced by cheesy and funny comments, him tackling me while trusting inside of me,to the point that i couldn't take it anymore and kicked him and we both fell on the floor, me on him, laughing and panting.  
"**_Ouch..why are you so violent with me ?_**".. "**_You know that i'm ticklish what was in your mind ?_**"..."**_You_**"..I rolled my eyes and laughed at his cheesiness  
"**Anyway...where were we about that you not letting me walk tomorrow?**".."**_it will come..now i have other plan in mind...ride me princess_** " I sat properly on him and his hands went on my waist.

The night went on like that, with us reconnecting with each other. We should have talk, i should have apologize to him but it wasn't the moment for that


	12. Confession

It was around 8.30am when i opened my eyes and I mentally cursed when i tried to stand up. I provoked him and I shouldn't. Yes last night was one the best night we ever had, but now my legs couldn't even support me. I heard a chuckle and turned to see Changkyun standing at the door with a brown paper bag and two coffee.

"_**I told you i wouldn't let you walk after that**_" that smirk, i wanted to punch that sassy attitude out of him. I just shook my head and put my clothes on. I couldn't be salty for too long, not when he decided to kiss me on the forehead, giving me my coffee.

" _**Caramel macchiato for my girl and some hot pastries...but not as hot as me**_ "   
"_**Oh my god...I swear if you don't stop i'm gonna kick you**_"

_I missed it... I missed him_

Once again it felt like we both avoid to talk about the real issue. I spent most the day with him at the studio, listening to the songs he was working with, listening to him talking about all the tension with the US team and how stressed he was about it. To be honest, i wasn't really surprised about it. Even thoughy I only work with them 3 weeks I get to see that things were off about their way of dealing their schedule. We spent our day like that, Changkyun's head on my lap, me playing with his hair listening to his rant.

"_**I don't like being that mood killer but we need to talk..**_" I couldn't avoid it forever I needed to know what we are. If we were just sex friend, if there was feelings, no matter the answer i was willing to accept it but i needed to know.  
"_**Talk about what ?**_" Changkyun sit up and looked at me. I didn't know where to look, i wanted to run away but i was the one bringing it so i had to face it.

"_**About this...about us..Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with you, sex is amazing but yeah I wanna know if it's only that between us ? It's okay if it's only that. I'm not a greedy person. I just wanna know so i can draw the line**_ "  
The struggle was real. I never had such a hard time finding my words, even for job interview i never struggle that much but anyway it was done. I was trying to keep my cool but almost lost it when Changkyun started to laugh. I felt like dying on spot, i felt so ridiculous.

"_**I like you silly**_" He was still laughing and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against him but i fight back and hit him on the chest, what made him laugh even more.  
" _**I hate you**_ "  
" _**No you don't and you know it.. I'm sorry if i made you confused during all that time but i thought you knew already how i feel for you**_" I rolled my eyes and hit him again.   
"_**And how was I suppose to know since we never talk about it.**_"  
"_**You know i'm not good at expressing my feelings with words..seems like my actions weren't enough to reassure you.**_"

Coming from someone who writes many songs it was really funny. I can't believe i spent weeks torturing my mind over it to have everything brush off that fast.

"_**My feelings for you is one sure thing but i can't promise you to be the man you need. We won't be able to date publicly, I'll be busy a lot and I won't have many time for you most of the time...but if you're okay with that we can give it a try.**_"

He was right about everything, it won't be easily but i still want to try and if it fails..well i won't have regret.

"_**We can try**_"  
" _**That doesn't mean that you can go flirt with other dude tho, you're mine.**_"  
"_**I'll try..but Minah is already trying to set me up with some guys who seems to like foreigner.**_"  
"_**You better not..those men are real jerk...you're mine, you don't need anyone else than me to workship you okay ?**_"

I couldn't help but laugh. His jealous side was cute and adorable, but he was right, most of those men were really idiot and i didn't want to waste my time with them.

"_**So....girlfriend...how about you show me again that little tattoo of yours..i think i missed some details about it last night.**_"  
"_**You're an animal.**_"  
"_**I will pull you into my swamp and make you scream my name again.**_"  
"_**Are you seriously refering to your song right now?..i can't believe you**_"

Is it too late to regret coming back here? This playful mood was indeed what i needed right now.


	13. You're mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning : Smut

Keeping our relationship secret was some how funny, especially when we hang out with our mutual friends. Ignoring each other would have been suspicious same as being too close. The funniest part was to see Changkyun trying to hold back his jealous side everytime one of his friend was too touchy or friendly with me or everytime Minah mentioned to introduce me some of her classmate. I would receive texts out of the blue

-_You better not_  
_-Stop encouraging her...you're mine._

And i would just smile, pretending that it was just spam when they would ask me why i was on the phone.

After three weeks I ended up finding a job in a restaurant. It wasn't something fancy but at least it would keep my busy during day time when my friends were at work or school.

Meeting Changkyun was another story, most of time i would drop by his studio to bring him food or he would just come to my apartment around midnight - 1am. He used to ring the first time but after waking me up few times, i just gave him the code so he could enter freely. When i was sleeping, he would just quietly remove his clothes and slip in the bed next to me, his arm around my body and his face hiding in my neck. If i was deep asleep it would take me some time before realizing his presence. Some time he would leave in early morning and i wouldn't even know until he texts me telling me that he was there. And of course i would be mad at him telling him that he should have wake me up but the answer was always the same " **you looked so peaceful, i didn't want to wake you up and just being next to you like that was enough to feel better**."

I always feel bad during those time because i feel like i didn't pay enough attention to him or that he was the only one taking care of me.

-_Hey babe...are you busy tonight ?_  
_\- hey...we have training today but it should be over around 11pm._  
_\- If you're not too tired, do you wanna come ? It's been a while since we hang out together without me being knock out on the bed_  
_\- Ha ha ha...no problem babe..see you tonight._

Today was my day off so i decided to prepare something for him..not to fancy since my cooking skills weren't that exceptionnel but at least something to nice enough to help him to relax after practing. Being the perfect little housewive wasn't me at all but for once it wouldn't kill me. I jumped out of the bed and went to make some grocery. Pasta, meat, fruits, a bottle of wine. The food wasn't the only part of the shopping, i decided to spice things a little bit and went to buy a new set of lingerie. Red was definitely my colour and that one set sure get my attention. The bra was tie in front like a ribbon and i'm sure that it would make is little effect on him.  
I went back home, put some music and started to prepare dinner and clean the house. After finishing everything i took a long shower, washed my hair, put my lace set and Changkyun's hoodie and a short, wanting to keep everything surprise.

Not too long after i heard the door bip signaling that it was being unlock, then saw him taking off his shoes and his black mask.

" **_Hi babe...How was practice ?_**"  
" **_Felt like dying but now i feel good being home._**"

Everytime he uses the word home to mention my place i can't help but feel fluttered. I don't know if it was on purpose or not but my heart always skip a beat when he says it. I shooked my head and looked at him as he laid on the couch, head on my lap. My hand went automatically in his blonde hair, stroking him slowly.

"**_I made dinner..We can have it here and watch a movie...I'll prepare everything, you should choose the movie_**"  
He slightly nod and sat so i could stan and go to the kitchen. My plan seems to not start well since he sounds so tired. I sighed and decided to go with the flow. I turn on the gas, to warm up the cream sauce. I was so lost in my thoughts that i didn't hear Changkyun coming and jumped by surprise when i felt his arms around my waist.

" **_It's just you and me here why are you so surprised ?_**"  
"**_I didn't hear you coming and I thought you were choosing the movie._**"  
"**_I wanted to have you in my arms and I know my tired self wasn't what you expected right now and i'm sorry_**"  
"**_I didn't say anything_**"  
"**_I know, but I also know you more than you think and I can see through you._**"

He was right, he knew me too well and sometimes i hated it, like right now. It wasn't my intention to feel mad or anything against him, i tried my best to not let my disappointment get seen but as always he managed to know how i feel before i even accept it myself. I turned off the gas, turned and put my arms around his neck.

"**_You are too clever for your own good you know that_**"

He just laughed and pecked on my lips before parting away from me and take the plates and fork in the cupboard. Instead being on the couch, we had dinner on the table, exchanging talks about our days, his upcoming comeback and the noisy customers i met daily. Once the meal was done, we took the wine and fruits and went on the couch, cuddling and watching some funny shows.

Honestly, this was all i wanted. Both being laid on the couch, me slightly on top, laughing at every stupid jokes that were said on tv. I could stay like this for ever. After 30min, the wine bottle was empty, mostly by me actually, but that wasn't the most important. The most important was that i was in the arms of the man i love and that was all.

" **_We should go to bed before I end up crashing you more and you stop feeling your body_**"   
" **_You know i hate when you say thing like that. You're perfect and i'm not that weak_**"

I laughed and stood up, dragging him with me. "**_Just let's go_**".. I turn off the tv and went to my bedroom still dragging him with me. Instead of fighting back, he just chuckle before hugging me and falling on the bed with him. We can't say that the alcohol was playing a bit but it was also our usual self. Being silly and playful. I looked at Changkyun as he went over me. The room was dark, only the light from outside and the bedside light were brightning the room but i could definitely feel his burning gaze on me.

"**_I want you_**"

He just whispered it and i could feel my body burning from it. When his lips went on mine i felt my heart crashing. It wasn't the first time we kissed, but the feeling was always so new to me, like each time i was discovering a new feeling through his kiss. When Changkyun removed the hoodie i was wearing, his eyes widened when he saw my lace set.

"**_Oh...that's new...i like it_**"

He smiled before taking the silk between his fingers and untied the bow, revealing my breats. He didn't waste time and took one of my nipple in his mouth before going a little bit lower where my tattoo is. After so much time i would thought that he would get over my tattoo but looks like he is still in love with it. He finally kept going south, to my bigger pleasure and removed my remaining clothes. But once again i had other plan. I smirked before flipping Changkyun over on his back and sat on it. I removed his hoodie and started to kiss him angrily trying to distract him while i was taking the silk scarf under the pillow. While still kissing i took both of his hands in mine and pinned, moving my hips on his to keep the distraction. Once i felt that he was melting under me, i tied his waists to the bedhead. Realizing what was going on, Changkyun broke the kiss and looked at me, eyes wide open.

"**_Tonight is all about you_**"

I didn't say more and started to devour his neck, still grinding on his lower part, having his grunts for answer, turning me on even more. I began to go down in a sadistic slow path, kissing each revealing part of his upper body, i could feel him reacting, even more with his hands tied and not being able to touch me.

"**_I can't believe you tied me_**"  
"**_You don't like it?_**" I said back looking at him with fake innocent eyes. Not waiting for an answer I went back to tasting his body until I reached his sweatpants. I pull it down slowly along with his underwears and I smirked hearing him sigh from relieve that his body was finally free from any compressing clothes. I then started to kiss his left inner thighs, caressing the other one. His body was hot, mine was hot, the entire room was hot. Changkyun was whinning, complaining about the lack of attention i was giving to the part he needed the most and for once, i enjoyed torturing him, having him so vulnerable under me. Not that he was always the dominant one, but i never got the courage to actually take fun control of his body.

" **_You have no idea how i like seeing you like that._**"  
I said before suddenly take his length in my mouth. He gasped from the surprise and I started bobbing my head, switching from high pace to slow pace, making him moan non stop. When he was about to cum, i stopped and sat back on the bed,looking at him panting. I smiled innocently as my hand reached my lower part and i began playing with myself, my eyes never leaving his. He was furiously trying to break the scarf around his waist and i could do was smirking, playing even more with my bud, moaning his name.

"**_Ha....Changkyun...it feel so good...now..now you know how i relieve the pressure when you're away_**"

I never been bold like that but I really want to make him lose his mind tonight. When i felt close to my release i stopped and went immediatly on him, letting him fill me all along and started to ride him. I had to put my hands on his chest to hold my balance as I rode him as my life depended of it. Frustration, pleasure everything were mixed and our moans were filling the room. I was praying that my neighbours wouldn't here any of it. After few more thrusts we both cum. My body was sweating and it's with shaky hands that i went to free Changkyun from the scarf. After all of that i didn't expect him to flip me over and put me on my four and thrust back. I hold back a scream and tried to hold myself as he pounds into me.

"**_You're so naughty baby girl...I like it...but i'm still hungry after what you showed me_**". His lips on my back were soft compare to the way he was thrusting into me. I couldn't stay on my arms and had to grip on the bedhead to not collapse. Changkyun took advantage of it and just make us moving a bit so his left arm was holding the bed while the other one was around my waist, holding me closer to him. My body was totally emptying of all strength, i dropped my head back on his shoulder and his lips immediatly went to attack my neck as i felt him twitch and for the second time we both came tonight. My legs felt numb and i just collapse on the bed, my chest rising high like my heart was ready to jump out.

"**_Im Changkyun, you're the devil_**"  
"**_Well, you not bad too miss. You're lucky i'm too tired otherwise I wouldn't have stop...You're such a tease, playing with yourself like that_**"

We both laughed and laid like that on the messy bed for almost 5 minutes,facing the ceiling.

"**_You should probably put a mirror there..it would be fun to have another view_**"  
"**_Shut up you naughty kinky boy_**"

No matter how rough, dirty were our moment, they always end like that, cracking joke and being silly.


	14. Who are we ?

**Tuesday**** 10:34pm**  
_3 __missing_ _calls_ _from__ Andrea_

**Thursday**** 2am**  
_2 __missing_ _calls_ _from__ Dany_

This is how our life became those past two months, trying to reach each other but failling most of the time. I was busy, he was busy, he has his life and i was starting to have mine too. I loved him, he loved me too but somehow it wasn't enough to prevent this to happen. But i knew already where i was heading to when i decided to take our relationship to another level so I had no reason to complain or ask for anything. I was just going with the flow, not being clingy and demanding. Maybe that's the reason why we ended up by seeing with other only once every two weeks. But our meetings didn't change, we weren't really awkward, we spend that little time watching movie, talking about our daily life and having sex. It was still great..at least it was what i thought.

-**_Hey_****_Kyun_****_, _****_there_****_is_****_that_****_ new pizza place _****_that_****_opened_****_next_****_to_****_my_****_ place. _****_We_****_ can _****_order_****_and_****_ go have a _****_night_****_picnic_****_near_****_the_****_ river._**  
-_**Sorry**__**babe**__**, i **__**don't**__**feel**__**like**__**we**__**should**__** go out **__**these**__**days**__**, **__**you**__**know**__**with**__**the**__** comeback.**_  
\- **_ah yeah _****_you're_****_right_****_...well _****_you_****_ can _****_still_****_ come home if _****_you_****_want_****_._**

That's what you signed for Andrea, dont forget it.

\--------------

"_**Andrea ? **__**We're**__**having**__** a party **__**tonight**__** for **__**Jaz**__** birthday, do **__**you**__**wanna**__** come ?**_"  
"**_Why_****_not_****_ ? I _****_deserve_****_some_****_ fun after _****_that_****_ long _****_week_****_.._****_we_****_had_****_so_****_many_****_customers_****_._**"  
-"_**So**__**let's**__**meet**__**at**__**Soap**__**around**__** 11pm, **__**my**__** friend **__**got**__** us a table.**_"

I wasn't the kind of person to go out every week end and get drunk but once in a while, going out and having fun wasn't a bad thing and it's not like i have better things to do on a saturday night.

\- _Hey_ _babe__..__how__ are __you__ ?_  
\- _Good __and_ _you__ ? __I'm__ on __my__ break __now_  
_\- __I'm_ _at_ _the__ studio rn...__i'm__ free __tonight__, __so__ i __was_ _thinking_ _of_ _coming_ _to_ _your__ place __and_ _watch__ a __movie__._  
\- _Actually__ i have plan __at__ 11pm but __we__ can __still_ _watch_ _the_ _movie_ _before__..__i'll_ _be__ home __around__ 8._  
-_oh...okay..__see_ _you_ _at__ home __them__._

I was torn, i should have probably cancel my plan but it's been a while since i had a fun time outside my house and i couldn't keep turning my friends invitation down all the time. Everytime i was supposed to come out, Changkyun would come home all of sudden and i would cancel my plan to stay home with him, but tonight i wanted to have a normal saturday night evening.

\- **10pm** -

"_**So**__**you're**__**going**__** out **__**tonight**__** ? **__**Where**__** are **__**you**__**going**__** ?**_ "  
" **_Hum ? Oh.._****_we're_****_going_****_to_****_ club.._****_it's_****_one_****_of_****_my_****_coworker's_****_ birthday, _****_so_****_we're_****_having_****_ a _****_small_****_ party._**" I said while looking for something to wear.  
"_**I **__**was**__**hoping**__**that**__**we**__**would**__**spend**__**the**__**night**__**together**__**.**_ "  
"_**I **__**know**__**..**__**i'm**__**sorry**__**...but i **__**really**__**needed**__**to**__** go out **__**and**__** have **__**some**__** fun..**__**i'm**__**tired**__**of**__**being**__** home **__**all**__**the**__** time.**_" And that's the moment when i fucked up.  
"**_Well _****_i'm_****_sorry_****_that_****_i'm_****_not_****_the_****_boyfriend_****_that_****_take_****_you_****_ out _****_and_****_keep_****_you_****_bored_****_at_****_ home_**" I could feel that he was mad at my comment. I sighed and sat next to him on the bed.  
"_**That's**__**not**__**what**__** i **__**meaned**__**Changkyun**__**, **__**don't**__** put **__**words**__** in **__**my**__**mouth**__**like**__**that**_"  
"_**Well **__**this**__**is**__**the**__** feeling I have Andrea**_"   
"_**Are **__**you**__**serious**__** ? **__**I'm**__**trying**__**my**__**best**__**to**__**accept**__**the**__** nature **__**of**__**our**__**relationship**__**, **__**not**__**being**__**too**__**clingy**__**, **__**not**__**asking**__**anything**__** more **__**because**__** i **__**know**__** you can't so what's the problem ?**_" Arguing wasn't really part of the plan for tonight but here we are, me starting to losing my cool.  
"_**You know what ? Nevermind..I better go**_"   
" _**So now you're running away.**_"  
"_**I don't know what to tell you Andrea..I was hoping that you'll be more eager to see me...something changed.**_"  
This discussion was taking a turn that i couldn't clearly understand. I was giving him all the freedom and the time that he needed so what was the problem ? I was more than confused.

" _**I really don't get it Changkyun ! What do you want from ? That i call you everyday ? That i complain that we never spend enough time together ? That i would like to go out and have a normal date instead of being home everytime ?**_"  
"_**This is what you feel ?**_" And this is when I realized that he tricked me.  
"_**I would lie if I say i don't..but we can't.right ?.so what's the point of telling you that ? Making you feel guilty ? Being the non comprehensive insensitive girlfriend ?**_"  
"_**Being the honest girlfriend..I don't want you to fake your happiness, i want you to be honest with me even though it's not pleasant to hear**_"  
" _**It's not like thing will change if i say anything...Changkyun..i'm fine with what we have okay, so forget about it.**_"  
"_**I'm not fine and you're not fine neither...i don't want this relationship to be only you doing everything to fit my life, to just accept everything without complaining or being mad, this is not what i want.**_"  
"_**So you want me to be mad at you because i'm jealous of other couples who can have normal date ?...this make no sense you know that ?**_" I couldn't help but laugh nervously at this absurd situation. What was going on ?

"_**I just want you to tell me what you feel so we can fix the problem together. I want to make you happy and i was wrong too to just turn blind on this situation because i knew you weren't okay but since you didn't say anything i pretended that it was okay. I didn't try at all and i was wrong. Maybe i didn't want to come out from my comfort zone..but we can try now...once in a while if we stay careful to not get caught we can go out on a date.**_" I sighed and put my hand on his cheek. He was trying, his intentions were good, but too risky.  
"_**See...this is what i don't want...you to fear to get caught, to have to look around if we go out in case someone would recognize you..i think it's too early for that and you're not ready for it either....i have to go...let's talk about it later okay ?**_" I kissed him and grabbed my purse and my phone and left the apartment, leaving him alone. It wasn't the nicest thing to do, but it was necessary to take some time after what happened.


End file.
